On It/Love begets Love

A short essay and a poem, inspired by Earl Sweatshirt’s Tabula Rasa and Mac Miller’s New Faces V2.

Image taken and edited by the author.

Note: The reason this poem is simply going onto my page rather than through my usual poetry places — Rainbow Salad, Scuzzbucket, SoulCraft, etc — is because this one is more unrefined. I debated about posting it at all, as I sat and just wrote it in order, read it back once and didn’t want to alter it. Not because it is perfectly tuned, but because I didn’t want to cut out the emotion that went into it. Maybe that emotion is *only* visible to me within these words, as I now what they are connected to for me, but just in case somebody else can find a similar solace within them as I did, I wanted them to exist at least in an accessible place. This is that place.

This week, I wrote to a friend about how I was really thankful to now be in ‘a position from which I am able to EARN love’ and that ‘I am blessed to be in a position where I can focus my energy towards cultivating love. Both to me and from me’. It was a moment of pride and maybe even of ego — I finished a fourth course of therapy just a few hours before, so it makes sense to be feeling a little heightened on the sense of achievement — but blessings do beget blessings. Love begets love. I really believe that.

I am trying to shift away from bitterness and anger towards something more hopeful. This has…